Safety Today

For many parents, the safety of their family is one of their top parenting priorities. As children grow up, the safety issues change, but are no less important. According to the experts, most accidents and abductions can be prevented if some preventative tactics are followed. Here are five tips for maintaining the safest possible environment.

Know Your Child

It may be true that you know what’s best for your kids in the long-run, but they also have ideas about their lives. If a great separation develops, and they lose contact with you, the child will be more prone to become defiant and distant, which will increase the likelihood of making poor decisions. Without being intrusive, it’s wise to maintain an open, non-judgmental relationship and support the child’s efforts, so he or she will be able to comfortably talk about feelings and experiences. You are not doing your child a good service by ignoring his or her behavior.

Chemicals and Medications

Toxic chemicals that are commonly used in the garden or for house cleaning should be kept in a locked cupboard where children cannot reach them without adult supervision. Unused and expired medication should also be disposed of properly. The most fatal unintentional overdoses are from pain relief medications that people get from friends or family members.

Safety Rules

It’s wise for one adult member of a family to learn first-aid, CPR and even self-defense. These classes are easily available and may be life-saving when emergency situations arise. If you have a boat, make sure you have the required number of usable life vests and always use a seat belt and an approved child safety seat.

Use Your Smartphone

As soon as they are old enough to remember, kids should be taught their telephone number and their parent’s mobile phone numbers. Many smartphones such as the Samsung galaxy s5 have mobile phone features that allow families to stay in contact. Youngsters can be taught how to answer the phone, call 911 and not give personal information to strangers.

Play Dates

It is essential that you know the families where your kids play. There should be shared values such as not playing with or handling guns, not going to the store without an adult, street safety and always being within earshot of the play area. If you go camping with your friends, you should discuss outdoor safety rules. For example, always stay on marked trails, never disturb wildlife habitats and pack water, a snack, sun screen, insect repellant and a whistle whether you stroll through the woods or do serious trekking.

Today, many adults and their children lead very busy lives and trust each other to follow a few common sense rules and stay safe. However, it is important to take some time out of your busy day to make sure each person understands the basic safety ground rules and understands the importance of following them. When preventative tactics work, you may not even know danger was nearby.

About Us

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Welcome! At HereBeWillers we recognize that there are a lot of issues relating to parenting that many people can relate to. That’s why our sole purpose is to highlight these common issues that matter most to moms and families in general. We cover various topics on parenting, health and wellness, and so much more. It’s a place where readers can expect to be educated, enlightened and engaged.

Just as society as a whole continues to evolve, the challenges that families face also change from time to time. Our string of blog type articles will keep you up-to-date with the modern concerns such as, raising a child with Autism, childhood obesity and effective ways to co-parent.

It’s our goal to provide a hub of resources and offer useful information. It is great to know that there is always a place to go. We encourage you to leave comments and join in on the conversations.

Kids Nutrition: Avoiding Childhood Obesity

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The number of children overweight continues to be a growing issue in the United States. Recent reports indicate that the percentage of young kids exceeding their expected weight for their height and body type has doubled in the past couple of decades. Unhealthy diets and shifts in lifestyle have contributed to the spike. This includes overeating, poor nutrition and lack of physical activity.

There are ways that parents and society as a whole can help curve this epidemic. But first, let’s explore why the topic of childhood obesity is so necessary to address.

Medical Issues Associated with Childhood Obesity
It’s true that having extra weight may be associated with genetics and can run in families. However, being overweight is usually the result of taking in more calories than those being burned off through exercise or normal everyday activity. If not managed, certain medical conditions are prone to arise.

It’s a common fact that excess sweets, starchy and fatty foods contribute to weight gain. Also, more than often, they lead to an unhealthy balance of sugar and end up disturbing the pancreas. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), one of the most common diseases among children today is diabetes.

fat-kid-1243220Some of the other medical risks of childhood obesity include the following:
• High cholesterol
• High blood pressure
• Pre- diabetes
• Joint issues due to unbalanced distribution of weight
• Sleep Apnea
• Depression and low self-esteem

When children and adolescences carry extra weight, it increases their chances of having obesity in their adulthood. This puts them at higher risks of all the above as an adult in addition to developing osteoarthritis, strokes and cancer. So essentially, taking steps to avoid childhood obesity is taking steps to avoid shortening the individual lifespan.

Just as important to a child’s physical health is their mental well-being. Feeling good about their bodies help decrease chances of having depression or other psychological disorders. All of these risks can be lowered by maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Ways to Help Children be Healthy and Active
Parents play a big role in steering the direction of their children’s health. It is not solely up the schools or peers. The foundation is always laid at home. Mom and dads can start by creating an environment at home that encourages healthy eating practices and regular activities.

Having each child properly examined by a pediatrician is the best way to determine if your child has an issue with weight. If your child is over his/her expected body mass, you may be given specific instructions regarding modifying eating habits.

Most adults flock to special diets or rigorous exercise schedules in order to slim down. However, when it comes to children and young teens who haven’t reached their maximum height or full development yet, weight management should be approached differently. One reason is that many important vitamins and minerals get omitted from certain well known diet plans.

Eatwell-plate1-300x300Instead, parents can make sure to curve the servings on each plate, leaving more room for fruits and veggies. That means spending a little more on produces. Meals should typically be low calorie and balanced. Parents can also make sure to check the servings on the side labels of food products.

Often times, the amount of fruits and vegetables eaten on a child’s plate are not monitored. Because of the amount of time kids spend at school or just with friends, keeping up with how they snack tend to be difficult. Kids can are notorious for snacking on unhealthy treats like sodium packed chips.

In addition, going out to eat and having take-outs can be a problems. For one, most fast food meals contain a large amount of cholesterol. Not to mention, at restaurants the portions are usually for two, not one.

Technology is another big thing that hinders a healthy lifestyle because it has the tendency of deterring the youth from engaging in physical activities. The amount of time being spent playing video games and surfing the internet may need to be observed may take the place of bike riding, soccer with friends etc. Parents can step in by setting limits on how much television not just the children watch, but how much the whole family watches as well. All of this will aid in raising up more active children, and thus a more healthy society.

Working as Equals: 21st Century Co-Parenting Takes Effort

familyModern co-parenting can be tough. With a less stable economy, more families see both parents working outside the home. With rigid gender roles eroding, mothers and fathers sometimes struggle to determine which roles are appropriate. With modern technology giving youth unprecedented access to life beyond home and school, parents can struggle to strike a workable balance between overindulgent parenting and isolating strictness.

Child-rearing as co-parenting equals can be extremely rewarding, helping to produce adults who are mature, responsible, sociable, and flexible, but takes conscious effort. Striving for equitable levels of responsibility in raising a child takes communication, organization, respect, and support. The mother and father must be willing to adopt some nontraditional roles and come to consensus on complex issues.

First, co-parenting couples need to form a united front when dealing with major child-rearing issues, especially discipline and education. Many kids will attempt to play parents off against each other, first seeking permission for something from one spouse and then the other. If a son or daughter realizes that Mom and Dad have different ideas on what is permissible, problems ensue. Failing to present a united front early on can affect the marital relationship, with one spouse feeling unsupported and disrespected when the other spouse continually goes against his or her ideas. Though youth may like the possibility of being able to “play” a more permissible parent, they may quickly come to feel stressed by facing the anger of the less permissible parent later. Over time, the children may feel insecure, not knowing if they will be punished by the less permissible parent for many things allowed by the more permissible parent.

For both the sake of the marriage and the sake of your progeny, create the strength of a unified front. Though they will not be able to get away with as much, they will secretly appreciate always knowing where the boundaries are.

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Secondly, co-parenting couples need to develop acceptable and expected ways for handling conflict. If there is a disagreement, how should it be discussed? It is important for couples to know which levels of communication are expected, and when. Though there may be initial awkwardness, both partners must become comfortable with being proactive about approaching the other and airing disagreements in a straightforward, respectful manner. You could say “I support you, but I would prefer if next time you handle that situation…” Of course, make sure to not air disagreements in front of your offspring, which may make them question your united front or worry that your relationship is insecure.

Third, a healthy co-parenting relationship involves good scheduling and organization. Parents must make an effort to ensure that there is an equitable distribution of parenting tasks, ranging from handling extracurricular activities to cooking family meals to managing household chores. Neither parent should feel that all responsibilities are falling on him or her, which can lead to resentment, bitterness, and threaten the marital relationship. To help minimize drudgery and allow the children to see working examples of gender equality, good co-parenting should involve switching up job responsibilities on a regular basis.

Fourth, good money management is a must for successful co-parenting. Budgeting and spending are part of the united front co-parents must present, but money skills go beyond simply having similar expectations. Co-parents need to exhibit good money management skills for their children, including explaining how the family budget works and showing youth how to shop without overspending. As with discipline and homework expectations, consistency is key: Both parents must follow a budget that is understood, at least in general, by the children.

Stay Home Dads: Benefits for the Whole Family

 

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Women have typically been expected to be responsible for childcare and the household chores. The ratio of wife-to-husband childcare responsibilities in the US is approximately five-to-one. Couples who have agreed to equal childcare and housework sometimes hit stumbling blocks. Societal norms, schedule flexibility, and media projections may affect equality.

All things being equal is an ideal. Couples need to reach an agreement that satisfies both parties. Negotiation should always be an option. Open communication is the number one factor needed in a marriage to arrive at a fair division of housework and the responsibility of childcare.

Women’s participation in the labor force is significantly higher today than it was in the 70’s. Prior to that time, women working outside the home or marriage were accepted for a limited number of occupations. Teaching, farm work, factory work, or domestic services were positions filled by women. Telecommuting was an unheard of concept.

Experience and higher education has increased the proportion of women holding professional jobs traditionally held by men. After the 2010 census, the United States Department of Labor reported 123 million women were 16 years of age or older. Of these women, 58.6 percent of them were participating in the labor force by working or seeking jobs.

dad-son-reading-300x171-resized-600Reasons for Dads to Stay at Home
There are so many single parent homes today. Often parenting and support are left to the mother of the household. A loss of respect for fatherhood, and perhaps manhood, is being lost. A father who chooses to stay home with the children, over a career, has a real opportunity to instill the values of fatherhood in the family. A family bond is developed and hands-on life experiences will occur naturally.

The Minnesota Department of Family and Children’s Services conducted a survey of 600 dads, asking what they considered their most important parenting role. Showing love and affection, safety and protection, moral guidance, play time, and teaching and encouragement were the top answers. Financial responsibility was last on the list.

The primary reason a person, whether it is the mom or dad, chooses to become a stay at home parent is the children. Parents who rely on daycare services often change caregivers frequently. The average time a child spends with a caregiver is four to five months. The practice of frequent changes can be emotionally devastating to children and have long-term negative effects. The ability to abide by rules and develop an approach to life that is optimistic is affected. Learning disabilities and relating to others can become problematic.

Benefits for Children
Feelings of happiness, security, and being cherished are nurtured when children have easy and quick access to parents. Children learn faster and better in a positive environment. They are better adjusted and behave better in social settings.

The eating schedule is monitored by a stay at home parent. There is more time for nutritious meals to be prepared. Immune systems are boosted when diligence to vitamins and supplements get the proper attention. If children do fall ill, recovery is likely to be faster with a parent at home.

Benefits for Momhappy family
Besides advantages for the child and father, women realize some advantages when dad is the stay at home parent. Wives get to enjoy the opportunity of advancing in their professional career. If roles have been switched, she has a partner who will empathetic in his support of travel, last-minute assignments and late nights.

Stay at home parents have the flexibility to plan outings and activities. The pressure of work and deadlines does not interfere. There is no better gift that anyone can give to another than their time. Treasured times are those outings and activities that parents and kids enjoy together.

Children’s milestones are not missed by parents who stay home with kids. Children grow so fast. There is never an opportunity to retrieve a first that is missed. First steps and first words are witnessed first- hand. The media resources of today allow those firsts to be recorded and shared with the other spouse or family members. Telecommuting is possible. Conversations during the day are possible between parents so that the feeling of going it alone can vanish

Redefining the Stay at Home Mom

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Many moms choose to stay at home to care for their children for various reasons. One might be that childcare is too expensive or it is difficult to get their children into daycare. Other moms might simply enjoy having a more flexible schedule. There are other reasons mothers make this choice and doing so is definitely different than what it once was.

In today’s world, there are two major ways the role of stay at home mom (SAHM) has been redefined:
1) There are more ways to bring in extra income while taking care of the needs of the children at the same time.
2) Homemaking, raising kids and parenting are no longer their sole responsibility as an increasing number of dads are taking active roles in parenting.

Earning Extra Moneyworkingmom
For some women, it is a difficult decision to either enter the workforce or stay home with the kids. Some couples need to have income from two different sources in order to pay for their house, their cars, their cell phones and all other living expenses.

More and more women are finding ways to add to the income of the family by using skills they have attained in higher education or previous work experiences by setting up an at-home business. Their ability to use their professional skills along with taking care of the family allows them to have the best of both worlds. Oftentimes women who are working right in their own house instead of going out to meet the demands of the corporate world, are under much less stress and have better health as a result.

Many women have their own online businesses or blogs to help bring in supplemental income while others have work-from-home jobs. Some examples include:

  • Virtual assistant
  • Web developer/designer
  • Call center representative
  • Writer/editor
  • Travel agent

The Helpful Husband
When it comes to raising kids and being there for the family, husbands are taking a more active role than ever. Couples are finding ways to make it work to have just one parent working outside of the household. Husbands and dads are true partners when it comes to housework and showing love and support for their wives. Not only are they fully reliable when taking care of business, they can be counted on for childcare as well.

With less stress by both parents working outside of the home, couples can strengthen their marriage. Husbands are finding that even though they work 40 hours a week at their job, their wives work much longer hours. Here are some more ways dads can show love and support in their marriage:

    • Be an encourager not a criticizer
    • Help with the housework
    • Don’t ask why something didn’t get done
    • Schedule date nights

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Autism Diagnosis? Tips for Raising a Functional Child

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If your child has recently been diagnosed as being anywhere on the Autism spectrum, you are going to have both questions and concerns regarding the diagnosis itself and how it will affect the future of your little boy or girl. Your questions may be as simply answered as “How does my child fit into the spectrum” or as complex as “How will the diagnosis play a role in the intellectual and interpersonal development of my child.” The following tips are meant to help you on your journey to raising your loved one as a functional child, a little boy or girl living with it.

What is ASD?
Don’t let anyone make you feel as if the question is a daft one. It isn’t. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a disorder that affects a range of people in many different ways. The most efficient way of explaining the disorder and its many components is by describing it as the “spectrum.” A prism has many different colors; in the same way, this disorder comes in many forms.

Autism is an umbrella term for a wide array of brain development disorders. For the most part, it refers to a developmental disorder characterized by a lack of social interaction and communication skills; it also can be distinguished by specific repetitive behaviors. Underneath the diagnosis, “Autism,” the following disorders are included: pervasive development disorder, childhood disintegrative disorder, Rett syndrome, and Asperger syndrome. Most of these disorders are associated with social and delayed intellectual problems. Most of the children diagnosed, however, have incredible mathematical, artistic, and musical capabilities.

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Is the Diagnosis the Same for Every Child?
There are three primary levels:
Level one – Requiring Support (Highly Functioning)
Level two – Requiring substantial support (Functioning)
Level three – Requiring very substantial support (Functioning with Assistance)

For most children and adults living with the disorder, it is diagnosed early on in life. Typically, each symptom associated with the disorder can be detected between within the first 12 to 18 months of a child’s life. Children will show signs such as not speaking, not interacting, shying away from human contact, and avoiding eye contact in general. This is not to say a child with the disorder will appear to be suffering from depression. On the other hand, the child will simply avoid contact – especially with people he or she is unfamiliar with. This symptom is the most commonly recognized. Additionally, some children will develop as most children do – but they will go through what is called “Regression,” and slowly their motor skills and vocabulary will begin to decrease.

Although the timing of the diagnosis tends to be early in life, the specific diagnosis is truly unique and independent to each child. All children will not have the same severity, and some children will display only one or two characteristics throughout their entire life. Your child’s diagnosis will be unique from another child’s, and as your child grows, his or her diagnosis may change due to treatment or changes in his or her environment.

Will This Diagnosis Have a Lasting Negative Impact on My Child
Children living with the diagnosis can lead perfectly normal lives. They do not have Autism – it is not a disease. They are children, and they are simply living with a disorder that makes them different from other children. Because this disorder is characterized as early developmental, treatment for it begins at an early age. Through support from family members and counseling with doctors, children will have a better chance at growing into adults who are capable of interaction within their community, speech amongst their peers, and the mastery of fine motor skills.

It cannot be stressed enough that this disorder is not a disease. It cannot be prevented; it is not caused by vaccinations or specific food eaten during pregnancy. It is a brain disorder, and one in sixty-eight children are diagnosed with it. It isn’t caused by any one particular facet – and there is no scientific proof supporting the idea that it is caused by vaccinating your children – it is not caused by vaccinations, nor is it caused by your child’s environment. It is a disorder that originally develops independent from anything outside of the body.

If you find that your child has been diagnosed as somewhere on the spectrum, do not panic. Although your child’s behavior will be different from most children, your child will be capable of so much. Through sufficient training, your child will be able to express himself or herself through speech, function with normal motor skills, and be a part of his or her community without feeling excluded, strange, or without falling into a deep depression.

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Assistance through training is available for both parents and children, and working with doctors and specialists will help the parents to understand their children and the children to be able to engage in effective, intellectual communication. You cannot “cure” your child’s disorder, but with family cooperation and understanding, coupled with therapies and social inclusion, your child can be perfectly functioning within a social setting.