Happy New Year. Mark and I are staying in and eating cheese and drinking tonight to ring in 2007.

And the small matter of Happy Birthday Oliver.

So, we made it! Oliver’s first birthday. A year ago at this time, him and I were at Luton and Dunstable Hospital, lightly dozing and about to be woken up by some New Year’s fireworks. I was pretty much in shock (oh crap, pregnancy does result in a baby to take care of) and hadn’t really had a nice delivery (which I realise I never even posted about but I really don’t like to talk about it!). A few weeks later, I wasn’t sure if I was going to emerge from that newborn time alive, I just found it so difficult. I enjoy this little kid so much more than that newborn. He’s funny and easy going and loves to flirt with strangers and we are really lucky. He’s predictable and also adapts to changes always a lot easier than I expect him to.

And this temperment comes in handy when unfortunately he’s been struck down with his first major cold/infection! He’s got a slight ear infection, a chesty cough, a runny nose and a huge aversion to liquid antibiotics. Tonight I will mix them with ice cream, because what the hell, it’s his birthday and it’s New Year’s Eve and plus Mark and I aren’t planning on sharing our booze or cheese festival with him (port and stilton, fondue with baguette, bellinis – we’re staying in tonight while my parents go out partying so this is our treat for doing so).

My parents made a roast turkey lunch today, and my brother and his girlfriend came over. Pretty quiet birthday as we’re having a party next weekend (I figured people would be busy today, and may still be away for the holidays).

Cupcakes for today. I’ll make a Nigella birthday cake next weekend.

Because we just had to let him make a giant mess.

Talking to Grandma in England.

Playing with new toys from his Uncle Mark. S0 many news toys from birthday and Christmas. Don’t really know what to do with all of them other than put them on some kind of rotation schedule.

A year has gone by so fast. People said it would, but considering all that’s happened this year (e.g. moving to Canada, just keeping up with all the changes in him) or not happened (having a year off of normal full time work), I wasn’t sure. But it has flown by. And here’s to a good 2007, Oliver.

I can’t post the video up here (well, the first problem is I can’t edit the little clips from my camera right now since no computer in this house has a basic Windows Movie Maker program installed…please can I buy a Mac soon??), but we have a kid who walks now.

He started off doing about 6 steps between bits of furniture about 2 weeks ago, and then promptly stopped for a few days. Mark declared ‘today he officially walks!’ (I think it was like the 17th of December or something) but I wasn’t so sure what was considered actually walking.

Anyway, since then, since a week away in Ottawa, we’ve come back with a way more confident walker able to go lengths of about 6 – 10 feet without falling over or grabbing on to something. He’s loving it. I put him on the floor at Old Navy today, just let him walk around for a bit and he was in absolute heaven.

Also in the last few days? When he doesn’t get something that he really wants (e.g. he was really tired when we were packing the car to come back from Ottawa and he wasn’t being put in his car seat or in bed fast enough), he throws an actual tantrum. Like with abrupt screaming, head banging and feet kicking. I thought those were for 2 year olds?!?! It’s hilarious right now. I don’t think it will be funny soon, or if it starts happening all the time in public.

So in 2 days we have a one year old on our hands. Crazy. Trying not to have hospital flashbacks right now.

So I am feeling a little calmer about things. It probably helps that I just bought myself some really nice work-appropriate clothes in the Boxing Day sales. Nothing like retail therapy to make me feel wonderful. Seriously, actually, Mark has pointed out that he asked about flexible working hours in his interview so we may be able to sort it out so that at least Oliver will see one of us for a few hours each day. I have absolutely no problem with him being in daycare. I think it will probably be good for him actually (god knows we aren’t teaching him enough). But 12 hours a day of daycare makes me feel like I am the worst parent in the world – because basically we wouldn’t be his parents. So 8 hours of daycare (hopefully, with some arranging) will be okay. This is why we need to move as soon as possible – the commute from here really is too much, it makes the day too long, with all the other responsibilities that we have. I want to work, I want this to work. But my head is starting to spin from thinking about it all again…

Christmas in Ottawa was nice as usual, with lots of my family gathered, excellent Grandma food, and lots of gifts. I have some beautiful stainless steel and copper pans waiting for a kitchen, and Mark has every James Bond movie ever made (except the new one) on DVD waiting for a home theatre or something. And Oliver has lots of new toys and clothes and books.

Today was Mark’s 41st birthday – he chose Red Lobster for dinner so he could have a giant plate of crustaceans dripping with garlic butter and such. Oliver went mental for their cheese biscuits (god, so much salt in them). We’re going to see the new Bond movie tomorrow night (first time I’ll have been to a cinema in a year). It’s Oliver’s first birthday on Sunday but I am not having a party for him until the following weekend.

A year ago right now I was having some seriously not fun contractions and already at the hospital, so I am going to be very thankful when I put my head on my pillow in a few minutes and have a decent, peaceful nights’ sleep.

Oliver’s first Christmas!

He wanted more brussel sprouts. No really, he’s weird like that.

Visiting Savannah, Sandy and Richie’s teeny new daughter (and baby number 4). He was a little puzzled.

Because you learn, when you become a parent, that there are some things that you just have to do.

So it’s Oliver’s morning nap. Mark’s out at a job interview, I’m home alone, and I’ve got a million things to do as usual. We’re going up to Ottawa for a week tomorrow, so there’s tons of laundry that needs doing, and I’ve got to pack everything that 2 adults, a baby, a dog and a cat need (yes even the damn cat is coming), plus 50 million xmas presents.

So I take my chance and try to get stuff done during this precious time – it’s taking ages to get Oliver to sleep lately as Mark decided he was only going to be allowed his dummy at night, and he’s sick, so he could wake up coughing. But he was awake an hour earlier than usual, so he’s gonna sleep AT LEAST an hour, if not two hours before lunch, right?

I run around the house, periodically running back down to the basement to check on him. He’s only been asleep 40 minutes, so I figure I have time to put another load in the dryer, and try to do my delicates load. I also remember to strip the double bed in his room as my aunt and uncle are going to sleep in it one night while we’re gone.

I go downstairs, intending to grab my bathrobe for a quick shower.

Oliver has crawled out of the bed, across the floor, and is sitting there in his nappy chewing a dog bone.

Lovely.

So much for that coffee and newspaper reading in peace that was going to come after.

Off to Ottawa tomorrow for a week of Christmas with his Great Grandma, Great Grandad and loads more family. Will be a green Christmas, alas. We’ll be back on the 28th, just before Oliver’s first birthday. His first birthday. CRAZY.

First I wasn’t blogging because I didn’t have a lot to say. Then I was having trouble posting photos on my dad’s PC (still am – no problem on my mum’s laptop but she’s had it at work this week – but why the difference?!). Then I sort of had too much to say. And then my brain exploded.

I fell into a pit of despair this weekend – this move was a big mistake, I can’t deal with the stress, we have no income and increasing outgoings. And I got felled by some sinus thingy on Monday and I didn’t really get out of bed. And Oliver’s sick so he’s not sleeping so well due to the coughing. So I am tired and depressed and whatever.

And then yesterday came and I got my job and Mark got some very good job news as well (no offer but he’s making great connections and people are keeping him in mind for opportunities in the new year and at this very moment he’s meeting with people at a major company). Except I sort of haven’t got my job as they can’t get a hold of my references (people, it’s Christmas, everyone in England is already off work in my world) and I am really worried I am going to lose it.

So hurray, we have succeeded! But THE STRESS IS INFINITE. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t sleep until like 4am last night. What are we going to do when we are both working? I am so happy to be offered this job I wanted, with its salary very comparable to what I was making in London but you know without the crazy cost of living, and it’s a good, important, government job. But OLIVER. Both parents out of the house 12 hours a day if we are still living in Oshawa and both working. He won’t even know us. We’ll be lucky if we get to say good morning and good night to him. Why did we have a kid if someone else is going to raise him? The dog. Doggy day care?

Christ. Anyway, no references probably means no job so what I am worried about. At least tomorrow, I am going to stay with my grandparents and my grandmother is going to stuff me full of her wonderful food for a week and I will stress eat to my heart’s content. So I am signing off until the 28th or so, when we have the Big Birthday Weekend (Mark and Oliver). Happy holidays.

Made a long scary drive down near London yesterday to see Jen and Andrea – friends made 10 years ago during the first few days of university in Ottawa. Somehow post-frosh week haze, we’ve stayed in touch after all this time. And we haven’t changed that much – there’s just three little boys to contend with now! (Andrea had a bit of a head start on Jen and me so Ethan’s a little older than our two, but very happy to get on the floor and play with them!)


More photos on Jaden’s blog.

[Okay, why didn't we pose for a photos of ourselves? Ah yes, because we are the non-existent mothers in photo albums, always the photographers and never in them...]