So it seems like everything is falling into place. Story so far: I got my government job, we found Oliver a daycare here while we live temporarily at my parents’ house to start at part time, we bought our house, we started buying furniture. Then on Friday, Mark found out he got his job at the internationally-known transportation firm which shall not be named so he doesn’t get fired, he got his Canadian pilots’ license, we found a new daycare for Oliver for when we move that even feeds him breakfast (bonus!!), we finally managed to have a half decent meal at a chain restaurant (Alice Fazooli’s) and we got a deal on the washer and dryer that Mark wanted. So I sort of thought we were all going to die in the snow on the way home, but it didn’t happen!

And as a bonus we’re finally covered by OHIP as we’ve now been here for 3 months. In 3 months we managed to do all that. Not bad, eh?

Things to do before Mark starts work a week from Monday include buying another car (so we can both get to work), buying another car seat for Oliver, and putting together some kind of military operations schedule so we can survive the following 5 weeks before we move which will enable both of us to get to work on time but also enable someone to drop off and pick up Oliver from daycare. And have dinner and do those everyday things that need to be done. And help poor Piper who is going to be hanging out with the cat in the basement 12 hours a day. We’re going to be relying a lot on my parents in the next few weeks.

I don’t like winter. I didn’t miss it when I was in the UK and I am not happy to be experiencing it again. I think I sort of got enough of it when I lived in Ottawa. But, once in a while, winter is okay. In fact, it’s kind of fun.

One of the few times he’s actually left a hat on his head:

As much as Mark wanted to push him down, I did not let him go down this hill. He’s got enough winters to wipe out ahead of him, no need to rush it.

So what should be only my 7th day back at work and I am at home as Oliver has his second ear infection this month, and Mark had to go in to his potential new employer for an entire day’s worth of assessment tests. We’ve been asked to keep him out of daycare for 24 hours.
He’s fine, just snotty, but acting like his normal self. Except he slept in a bit which was nice as I got 2 hours extra sleep.

I just realised last night that he’s gotten confident enough with his walking now to carry toys with him around where he goes, so cleaning up after him has become more of an adventure. He’s also learned to stop and stoop, and as well as managing to stand up by pushing himself up from the ground rather than always pulling himself up on things.
I’m trying to find a new daycare spot for him when we move to our new house in March, which is turning out to be much more of a challenge than finding one in Oshawa. And it looks like it’s going to be a lot more expensive as well. The only one I’ve found that has an infant spot so far actually offers webcam access, so at least I can keep an eye on him, or laugh as I watch the workers chase him around, even if he can’t see me.

And you know what? I am so tired from chasing him around today. I think having different people run around after him as he tries to get into everything is a good thing. Staying at home is exhausting. Being at work is relaxing. It is coincidentally a good day for me to stay home as apparently Oprah is going to tell me at 4pm that women can have it all – you can have a good career and also be a good mother. I haven’t made my mind up yet.

Okay, so this is the biggest reason why we left England (god, I do miss it though) and came to Canada.

Here’s what you can buy for roughly the same amount of money:

1. A semi-detached 4 bedroom house (though one bedroom was the size of a closet) in north west London, UK, 12 minutes’ walk to a tube station. House is between 1200-1500 square feet, needs renovation, and partial re-roofing – has mould issues in upstairs second bedroom, but good size garden (for London) that backs onto conservation area. Single car garage. Took me 1 hr 15 minutes to get to my desk at work.

or

2. A walk-out bungalow (meaning the basement isn’t underground totally, it has doors to the garden for those who are unfamiliar) north of Toronto, Canada, 2 minutes’ drive to a commuter train (GO) station. House is 2700 square feet, which doesn’t include the basement which is like another 3500 square feet of living and storage space (it’s excavated below the garage). Needs redecoration but no major issues. Sits on a plot of over 2 acres with it’s own pond. Three car garage. Should take me no more than an hour to get to my desk at work.

Okay, it’s not quite the same amount of money. Option one was actually way more than option two, when sold in 2005, before we moved out to Buckinghamshire and rented. So option two, we bought last week and we’re moving in March 10th, it’s less money and leaves us with some to make it more what we want on the inside, and outside (e.g. landscaping and putting a fence out there before Oliver drowns). And that little NO MORTGAGE issue is kind of important. My own priorities are to sort out the ensuite bathroom for our bedroom, replace the floors throughout the main floor, and to replace the countertop and cooktop in what is otherwise a pretty nice kitchen. Whether or not Mark agrees is a different story!!

It’s exciting as we are meeting a lot of our criteria despite our intial reservations on purchasing a bungalow. And it’s actually my first house, as Mark owned the London house before I met him. It’s not perfect, but in the search for a house we learned that we had to compromise on some things to be able to afford the most important things (enough land for Mark, commutable to Toronto or Mississauga, not having to take out a huge mortgage, etc.). For a great interior, it would have cost a lot more. So instead, we can finish it to our own specifications, and raise a family in a nice family home. I really can’t wait to move and it make it our own.

Today we started it by ordering some furniture. We have a few things that we’ll need to get right away as we brought so little, but other than that, it’ll be a big work in progress to set it up. And it’s giving me something really positive to look forward to when I am rather preoccupied and stressed out otherwise.

Of course, it becomes difficult to blog about the kid when I actually barely SEE the kid anymore, let alone note his progress. He’s acting a bit cheekier than normal, no doubt picking up stuff from the other kids at daycare, but otherwise pretty normal. He’s had a pretty abrupt shift in routine and handled it pretty well. He’s definitely chattier – I knew that a major positive of him being in childcare would be that he would have to progress on the language front. He’s getting more and more adept at opening and closing different kinds of cupboards and drawers, than until now didn’t attract his attention (the pots and pans cupboard in the kitchen is an old favourite; the new things were ignored until recently). I gave him some food in a bowl today and he actually picked the food out of it rather than just pouring it down his front or on the floor. Our little quality time these days is pretty much spent chasing him around the house, stopping him getting into trouble, having a few laughs and then putting him to bed.

One thing – he’s got the craziest nappy rash I’ve ever seen right now, poor sore bum and I am confused as to why it’s happened, so the pharmacist today recommended anti-fungal cream. I never would have thought of putting athlete’s foot cream on his ass but what the hell. We’ll see if it works.

And maybe when I see him for a while next weekend, I’ll have more to say! It sort of feels like I don’t even have custody except for weekends in a way.

I suppose the fact that I haven’t burst into tears yet today, for the first time this week, is some sort of positive sign?

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I do have a fantastic workplace, although new to me, with people who are very supportive and understanding, in particular my manager. They have no problem with my completely inflexible working hours, and that is fantastic. I don’t want to be that person who always has to leave at a certain time and who has to stay home ’cause their kid is sick, but I have to be. And thankfully they seem okay with it!

I still, of course, don’t know if we are going to be able to manage with both of us working full time and commuting. We haven’t had to deal with all that yet.

I haven’t really been able to deal with anything anyway, because I’m sort of barely even existing outside the workplace right now. I have to go to bed early to get up early. I haven’t eaten dinner a couple of nights. I’ve got a bit of a cold (either due to Oliver germs from daycare or new commuting/office germs). And I don’t have a lot of time to watch tv or read the newspaper or do any kind of little things that need doing.

And you know what? When I was at home for a year, feeling stuck at home most of the time, the days just flew by despite the fact it seemed I got little accomplished. Now, having to do so much in a day, the days are tortuously dragging on. It feels like I’ve been there ages, not just a few days. It’s a complete cliche, but thank god it’s Friday tomorrow.

Let’s just ignore the whole house thing for now, until the surveys and inspections and blah blah blah are all sorted out and it’s more in the clear. Okay? Thanks! But thanks for the nice comments!

Anyway, back to today.

I am right now sitting on a fence, that on one side involves packing everything in, going to my boss tomorrow and telling her she’s made a terrible mistake and so have I, because clearly I am a fraud who is in way over my head not just because I don’t understand all the acronyms that everyone speaks in. And so I quit and I can never get a decent job in this province again once I am really ready to go back to work. And then there’s the other side of the fence that involves jumping into this job with my entire being because it’s hella cool that I get to buy my Tim Hortons in the provincial legislative assembly building (I’ll let you know what all the politicians like in their cups) and there’s a wicked canteen from which I ate a spinach with spiced beef and strawberry salad for lunch and everyone was really nice to me AND I am going to be working on something really interesting that I don’t have any experience in. And added to this is the supreme mummy guilt that involves (a) not seeing Oliver except to put him to bed tonight and (b) actually not really missing him that much today because I kind of like wearing jewellery and not having stains on my clothes and talking to adults.

It doesn’t help this fence sitting when it took me THREE HOURS door to door to get there this morning. Thanks weather. Thanks for the freezing rain on my first day, where I was an hour and 10 minutes late. Thankfully I have an understanding new boss. The commute on the way home was so much more bearable, it seemed quick. It’ll be about 30 minutes quicker once we move in March. I have to remember that.

I have a mega headache. I need to go to bed. I haven’t been sleeping (house buying and going back to work after 13 months off in one weekend?? stress!!). All I did today was read policy documents and reports and play with Outlook. It was boring. I hope for a better tomorrow. Or for Mark to get a job that pays 50 gazillion dollars a year and I will sit on the couch with my feet up and pay a little attention to the kid and forget being a civil servant.

Holy crap we bought a house.

The same house we didn’t buy last weekend.

It’s like the calm before the storm (though actually we’ve had a taste of the storm this week). It’s the last weekday morning I can get away with sleeping in, sitting here at 11am in my pajamas, and drinking coffee. I keep forgetting that I have to go in to work on Monday and that I won’t be around for things that happen during the week. I found out a little bit more about what times we (meaning the staff) are meant to be there, and after discussions with Mark about arrangements, I am hoping to be able to do 8-4. Which is going to kill me in the mornings but at least I can blow dry my hair without chasing Oliver around, and I can hopefully be home around 5:40 or at least by 6 and spend at least an hour with him in the evenings.

Mark doesn’t have a job yet but it’s still going in that direction, for the one specific job this guy at this big company wants him to do. He’s passed the first stage of interviewing and is expected to do an assessment in the next week or two. And the new boss touched base yesterday from out of the country as he really needs him to start working for him asap. We’ve both been fortunate to actually find parts of our potential working world who are just desperate for staff with our backgrounds, so that’s a nice thing.

Oliver has started at daycare part time this week; he’s there now. We did end up going with the first place we had visited that we liked, particularly after we visited another place where the woman was completely looney. There was no way in hell we were leaving him there, and many things even about her house directed us towards our first choice. He’ll do his first full day there next Friday.

After last weekend, when we didn’t end up buying another house we considered, and we knew we were going to be here for at least a couple of months longer, I signed up at the very last minute to take Oliver to swimming lessons and for me to go to Aquafit. On the same night. Which sounded like a good idea at the time. Tuesday was completely insane. It didn’t really help that the roads iced up that night. We did make it to swim class on time, which I have to say I wasn’t that impressed with. This little girl (basically – she looks 12) is teaching the class, and there’s 5 other babies and most of them are actually really little babies so I think we waited too long on this. And I didn’t do anything with him in the water that we hadn’t already done taking him to the pool ourselves.

Aquafit was good, once I past the major hurdle of changing both Oliver and myself out of wet pool stuff, taking us home, driving me back again, and getting back into wet pool stuff. Fun. It turns out it’s not just fooling around in the water! I am just not sure actually if this was a good idea with the impending doom of next week. Oliver now has to go to bed at 7pm because he has to get up at roughly 6am to be at daycare for 7am, and his swimming class isn’t till 6:30pm. And I am going to be completely knackered all around.

All three of us got up, slowly, at 8:30am this morning and managed to make it out of the house to go shopping at about 10am. Can anyone tell me how the hell I am going to get Oliver ready on my own, once Mark starts work, and get out of the house with both of us dressed and me showered, to drop him at daycare and make it to work on time??

Anyone able to provide some helpful solutions to the morning madness I am dreading? Other than feeding him breakfast the night before ’cause it takes him like 40 minutes to eat it?