I went to yoga for the first time in…uh…way too long tonight. No more excuses! Not that I was giving any to anyone. I bought a 10 class pass to a local place in the summer and it wasn’t anywhere near expiring, but it was time to go. Maybe the fact that I’m facing a week of solo parenting starting tomorrow was what pushed me out the door.

It just so happened to be a ‘restorative’ yoga class that I dropped in to. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but restorative yoga is very slow and is mostly about relaxation and accommodating people who have been ill or injured. There was only one other person in the class tonight, and she was at her first yoga class after some kind of accident.

Okay, so no sun salutations tonight, but maybe that was going to be a good thing after not having practiced for so long. I decided to just enjoy myself. Meditation and relaxation is a good thing. I tried to sink into the mat and the blankets, to relax. I opened my mouth for deep breaths. I massaged my clenched jaw. Except,  my mind relaxed too. And it just flooded with crap.

I still can’t believe it. I bought them 12 bottles of chocolate milk last night at Costco as a lunchbox/snack treat. Today there’s only 6 left. How can they even drink that many in 12 hours? Where do they get off taking them like that? WTF?

You should know, when I read WTF, I actually say Wuh Tuh Fuh in my head. That’s just a little aside. To show you how weird I am. Anyway.

As if that wasn’t enough, they’ve been making ‘potions’ in the bathroom. It started off with toothpaste experimentation. It’s now moved on to expensive moisturizer and sunscreen and cleaning fluid soup.  I’m actually having a hard time getting mad at them for it. Because I did the exact same thing when I was around Oliver’s age. We had this yellow plastic cup that we used to rinse hair in the tub, and I  used to pour whatever I could find into it, mostly baby shampoo and cleaner, and mix it. And one time I even put it on my head and my mother said, wow you must need better shampoo. So yeah. I get that he’s curious. But I really wish you hadn’t used my bloody winter weight facial moisturizer, you little…

They’re like a pack of wild dogs, wandering around my house, destroying things as they go, costing me more money than I’d like. There are scissors taken to shirts, and duct tape applied to boxes and flyers to make costumes, and bites to skin and kicks to heads. They are wild and yet also creative and they claim they are just trying to have fun. I don’t even understand how they have time in their day for all of these things. And I don’t know what to do with them. Like, they are punishment-proof. It slides off them like water on a duck.

But, I think as I lay there on my back, holding my knees, I should write a post about this. I’ll have to write about this later. Once I get off this mat. And I should really stop clenching my jaw.

My spine feels nice and stretched out. That class was still a good idea. But I wish I had found some quiet in my head. Maybe next time.

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