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Be my valentine

I used to be crafty. Somewhere I still have craft paint and nice hole punches, and one time in New York City I made crafts with Martha Stewart Omnimedia staff and my friend Emma and it was awesome. But I am no longer crafty.

The thought of giving my children scissors and glue causes a panic attack. That’s what school and drop-ins are for. There’s enough of a mess in this house already. So when we’re talking obligatory school valentines, we’re talking a $2 box of Power Rangers cards, pre-punched with sticker accessories. They quickly wrote out the ‘To’ and the ‘From’ over the last few days. I’m okay with that. You may not be, you DIYer.

But let me be honest. You, you lovely person who spent a lot of time crafting your kid’s valentines’ with them? What do you think we are doing with them? Keeping them? Framing them? I’m not your kid’s aunt. If the valentines even made it home, they are going in the recycling bin very shortly. So I hope you had a good time handcrafting that special valentine. I hope it’s a nice souvenir for you.

My grinch heart is too small for this holiday. I didn’t wear pink today (pink does not suit me at all).  I didn’t make anyone heart shaped pancakes or pizza for dinner. I got home late and quickly threw together a bacon/leek/kale/tomato pasta (waaaaay more delicious than pancakes, anyway) and shoved the older kids out the door to Beavers. Oh. But wait, Mark had bought some obnoxiously pink- and red- iced chocolate cupcakes, so we had those for dessert. Even though I kind of wanted to barf at the sight of them. But I don’t say no to chocolate, and neither do they. So then they left.

And then they returned, and I greeted them after I put the baby to bed, and they shoved the drawings and hand-crafted valentines they had just produced into my hand. And they had made them for me. And I was so glad. And surprised.

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Not going in the recycling. Going up to decorate my cubicle at work. But if you want to recycle the Power Rangers valentine my kid got for your kid? PLEASE do.

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